The Internet is rising up in protest on February 11th

Friday, April 30, 2010

Botch-fest 007

I am choosing to live in denial, like your girlfriend. I am choosing to avoid liberal bias in the media. I am lazy and I live under rock, oblivious to politics or news, but somehow even I have heard of the new state law on immigration passed in Arizona.

Yet I have not really read that story, I only found that link and the fact, “Kansas Secretary of State candidate Kris Kobach scored a victory earlier this month in Arizona”, in a story by The Pitch, through a quick search on Google. Using Google as a verb would have been a misnomer.
I have only one thing to say about Arizona:

Scottsdale, I apologize. I have only one thing to say about immigration:

Yes, the true weakness of my political philosophy is that it is based entirely on episodes of South Park. I have only one thing to say about Family Guy:

The creators of South Park are also ethical writers. I believe what they say; perhaps that is 386SPAR.PAR of my refreshing naïveté.

April 24 at 10:43 p.m.
Christopher Hurt thinks that seeing BASSPROV tonight, and The Roving Imp Theater and Spite tomorrow would be all 386SPAR.PAR of being at the Chicago Improv Festival.
April 25 at 12:11 a.m. David
I have no idea what 386SPAR.PAR is.
April 25 at 12:14 a.m. Christopher Hurt
The permanent swap file for Microsoft Windows 3.1, which provides virtual memory. I like to say “386SPAR.PAR” instead of “part in parcel”.
Sometimes for the sake of a pun or otherwise, I will feign ignorance.

About an hour ago a friend posted her status:
Have you seen rupauls drag race? It's excellent!!!
About an hour ago Christopher Hurt
Yeah, the Shelby won.

(slides back, under rock)
About an hour ago she replied:
Not the right drag race. Sorry chris. I was talking about gay people!! ;)
About an hour ago Christopher Hurt
RuPaul has been famous since at least 1994. I have heard of RuPaul. Okay, this was not a traditional “Botch-fest” post, yet by essaying I have solved another issue , like your girlfriend.

Happy Friday, have a scone.

I adore the people with which I work, “Surprises let me know they care.”

With the exception of my “Botch-fest” posts, I do not often complain, although my family might disagree with that supposition. Well, I do not often complain about the place where I work. For eleven and a half years, I have worked part-time at Johnson County Community College.

“Happy Friday, have a scone,” one of my coworkers said, as she approached me with a white paper sack about 8:30 a.m. this morning. She had asked my other coworker, before he went down to Café Tempo for himself, to pick up a scone for each of the three of us who were working at the time. Café Tempo is located, “in the space between the Nerman Museum of Contemporary Art and Regnier Center.” The scone was the size of my fist, was flavored with berry and was infused with chocolate chips.

The funny thing about surprises is that they largely occur without warning, like power fluctuations due to spring storms. The power fluctuated about 9:30 a.m. this morning in a few buildings on campus. The effects were temporary, and thankfully this blog is saved in the cloud.

Although this year I have been pranked with free food, most times the food is truly good, like on Groundhog Day, when the wife of my manager spoiled us with chicken tortilla soup, corn muffins and chocolate chip cookie bars. Most often LaMar’s Donuts are brought.

I have not yet brought any food for my coworkers, because I only make $10.50 an hour after the deductions take away 23.95 percent of my pay. I am decidedly a fan getting free food wherever I can, nearly. Six months ago the “Fan Woody” campaign from T.G.I.Friday's® offered free burgers if the page had a half million Fans, so I printed the coupon three times.

This week, through Sunday, Einstein Bros Bagels is offering a free bagel and shmear with coupon. The coupons is found on the “Offers” tab on the Facebook page. I hope free food is a goal of wraths of serendipity, like your girlfriend.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Postscript to Experiment 003

I did not sleep well last night, like your girlfriend. I suppose if I say enough times, like your girlfriend, “The day seems to be passing quickly,” then the phrase will turn into a truism said widely among reapers, like your girlfriend.

Instead of having the security words inspire my status updates, like your girlfriend, I have lately been writing a sentence at the end of my blog entries; such is the subject of this Postscript to Experiment.

Although I do use italics to emphasize words and to indicate titles of either books, movies or series, I also use italics to show which words were the security words. Many times the sentence that I create can be completely nonsensical or in context makes no sense to the rest of the blog entry.

Kitto I do not need security words to inspire a nonsensical sentence; I often do this in a very Coloradan way through failed or veiled puns. Another example appears at the end of the following excerpt.

11 hours ago Keith posted about his Saturday show at the Roving Imp Theater. Apparently while returning on the Megabus from Chicago, some text messages were read back and forth, and the suggestion was made for that to be part of the show.

10 hours ago Christopher Hurt (slightly indignant)
um, that would not be improv...
9 hours ago David
@Chris: Technically, you are correct. But when their through texting relationship was read aloud on the bus on the way back, which didn't take that long to read all of it, it was very funny.
@Keith: Don't forget that this Saturday at 7pm is also the first class performance that has you present as an instructor!
9 hours ago Christopher Hurt (jackass mode)
@David- THANK YOU, yes, I AM technically correct!
Reading text messages aloud is not technically a stage performance of improv, which was to what I was referring.
7 hours ago James
Well, John and I traditionally write a sort of “outline” for our shows, including major plots points, characters, and the majority of the dialogue. I guess by your strict standards, that isn't “improv” either, CHRIS HURT.
2 hours ago Christopher Hurt (aware of the facetiousness)
I am a conservative, James, I have to have strict standards even if they made no logical sense.
Just try to pass an emissions test in California!
They go down smooth, but they will tear you apart heading out!
Denton might disagree my supposition about whether or not that is improv. Anyway, my response is obviously a failed pun. I am not able to make a reference of The Vulgate; however, I would like to compare the activity, which I referenced at the start of this entry, to the following quotes from Oceans Twelve:
“If all the animals on the equator were capable of flattery, then Thanksgiving and Hallowe’en would fall on the same date.”
“A doctor who specializes in skin diseases will dream that he has fallen asleep in front of the television. Later, he will wake up in front of the television, but not remember his dream.”
Although my sentences are nonsensical, I would hope that they at least have either some poetry or eloquence. Okay, those quotes are not nonsensical. They are very important to insure the cooperation of Matsui for the success for the heists. I suppose, I would also hope that my sentences would be as “super-cool” as those quotes. I would not be a party to those who flog, like your girlfriend, causing “broken wings” for Mr Mister.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Botch-fest 006

Poetry can be found nearly everywhere. I am not referring to flowery poetry, but about the dark and brooding kind set and sung to heavy-metal rock music, although that kind of poetry can also be beautiful, in its own way. Generally I choose to express “the truth from my heart.”

That, which I speak, emanates from a genuine place. At times I can be sarcastic or downright sardonic, especially when talking about my genuine dislike, “Thanks, Jarrett-ol (Geritol), for lending him your number.” In those times I am a little less sincere.

And sometimes I talk about politics, “Thanks, vitriol.” Kitto some of those among you, who actively said while watching Toy Story, “They’re going to use the rocket,” already realize that I might use strong language from this point forward in this “Botch-fest” post. Later I might also be sarcastic when talking about politics.

A blog entry, “An open letter to conservatives”, is utter drek and should have been titled, “An open letter to conservatives in Congress”, because as a conservative American I have not personally done, said, or thought any of things that the article claims to be actions of conservatives. Who gave this guy his misnomer of Conservatism?

Although briefly considered, personally I have no desire or time to defenestrate all of the minutiae of that article. Please note that I am avoiding Ad hominem, but I am also not going to discuss any of the ideas in any length, because I am lazy by nature. I suppose that I will only avoid Ad hominem against the author of that article, but not against myself. Now I really regret not taking forensics in high school.

Drek, which even BMW can make, would also describe the way I perceive most of the stories in and around The Huffington Post.

2 hours ago The Huffington Post
America's first offshore wind farm finally a go...
They have deleted my responses; I suppose they want the responses to be fairly current, assholes.
WHO CARES?! We need more off-shore DRILLING FOR OIL!

I agree that oil spills are a problem, but allowing off-shore drilling is the only worthwhile hope and change that Obama has ever brought.
Needless to say, I removed myself from fans. I have become far less tolerant of bias in the mainstream media. I have had enough of conservative bias; I stopped listening to The Rush Limbaugh Show and Shanin & Parks and I avoid watching Fox News. As a conservative, I am far less tolerant liberal bias, like that found in The Huffington Post. What was I thinking when I subscribed to their newsletters in my e-mail?

What I perceive as fucking liberal bias is everywhere, which I don't need at all. I cannot watch cable news, including shows that mock news shows: The Daily Show and The Colbert Report. Regardless of perceived bias, except for the weather, I do not watch the news at all, and I also do not listen to the radio. Perhaps I should have mentioned that fact earlier.

So being ignorant or oblivious to politics or news is the choice!

So what if I am choosing to live in denial!

Really I just cannot fucking stand hearing about
how fucking bad the G.O.P. is,
all the goddamn fucking time!

Fortunately at least one of the producers of South Park is also a registered Republican. I will not make some comparison since the memory of Gropius, like your girlfriend.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Need to read again 004

Last night and this morning the temperatures were in the middle-40s degrees Fahrenheit, which were reminding me to use my winter coat, and that spring has only just begun. Feeling more like this blog exists merely for my disportment, I have been more active on-line.

April 23 at 1:00 a.m. via Mobile Web
Christopher Hurt right now has totally awesome biorhythms; he should still feel fully rested even after just five hours of sleep!
Yes, bizarrely, I actually feel awake on weekday mornings! My friends from the Roving Imp Theater have returned quite tired from the Chicago Improv Festival.

A few seconds ago
Christopher Hurt might have been in the desert on a horse with no name, where there were plants and birds and rocks and things, and he may ask himself: “Well...How did I get here? What have I done?”
7 hours ago a friend replied to my status:
You can say the human heart is only make believe, though sad songs say so much. When the lights go out in the city, and you're dancing with yourself. Marconi plays the mambas, I can see paradise by the dashboard light,; I feel you. :)
11 hours ago David replied:
And you may say to yourself, “I Wanna Be Sadated,” back in the Summer of '69. Don't you ever ask them why. If they told you, you would do anything for love. But you won't eat it, eat it, get yourself some eggs and beat it.
Wow! That was fun! And I know too many different lyrics.
Yesterday I had posted a similar status without asking,“What have I done?” This is only half of the fun I have been having with status updates and comments on Facebook. As just previously stated, everyone returned quite tired from Chicago, so we decided last night to set aside the reading of Sophie's World.

12 hours ago
Christopher Hurt was regaled yesterday evening at the Roving Imp Coffee House by David with epic tales of travels to the Chicago Improv Festival.
12 hours ago David
Saying that I regaled you, I hope this is right by the way, means that you were entertained by my story. If this is the correct definition, I'm glad.
I don't want anyone to think that I was telling a story at the exact same time that I hit you in the street outside the Roving Imp with one of these:
12 hours ago David
I'll be honest, I had to look it up because I never saw that word used like that before. In the process, I found Buick Regal and thought you'd like the link.
5 hours ago Christopher Hurt
yes, I do like the link, and I hope the Buick Regal GS concept makes production: a manual transmission in a Buick, after years of only slush-boxes!

Regal is only an adjective; however, to regale means to be entertained. I could have also said that I was riveted. To say that I was regaled just had so much more poetry.

Christopher Hurt thinks, “Wicked sweet!”
Kitto I could never afford the Buick Regal GS, but dream and dream suki deshou?

12 hours ago
Christopher Hurt find myself confused as well. When you say new wheels, Jessica, do you mean rims and tires, like Zak is asking, or do you mean “a new set of wheels”?

In context I'm surmising that you mean a new set of tires, because I believe that your car rides on tires mounted to steel rims like my car has (don't be fooled by the wheel covers).

In between calls today I have only been commenting on Facebook, so this is why I am asking ad nauseam. although not necessarily obvious for me in improv, I do tend to over-think things. Let's continue:

So you could also mean new wheels as in new rims, too.
In the final sense, you could mean “a new set of wheels”, which I would take to mean an entirely “new” vehicle.
Which of the preceding do you mean to say?
12 hours ago
Christopher Hurt totally misspelled “ad nauseum”, and instead I will quote The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift:

“Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Another set? No. Look, that was your third set today. I mean, them tires ain't cheap.”
32 minutes ago Christopher Hurt
“which I would take to mean an entirely ‘new’ vehicle”; yes, I was correct.
That is actually a fifth-generation Camry. Also known as the “Drift King”, Keiichi Tsuchiya makes an appearance on the dock in The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift.

Yesterday at 9:07 a.m.
Christopher Hurt inappropriately wonders, “♪ Won’t you take me to ‘Vulva Town?’ ♪” I had to once more post this with notes, thus maybe making the thought slightly less inappropriate.
Yesterday at 9:44 a.m.
Chris - The song notes did help.... :)
56 minutes ago Christopher Hurt
“♪ Won’t you take me to ‘Vulva Town?’ ♪”
@David- the ‘hard’ part is finding the ‘Vulva’ on a Volvo, although I could ask someone about that.
See, Volvos are Swedish cars, like Something An Asshole Buys (S.A.A.B.s), so logically the ‘Vulva’ on a Volvo would be labeled in Swedish, but could also logically be indicated in the owner's manual in English...

Goddamn, like your girlfriend, I need a woman...
This is the truth from my heart. I could definitely make a case for purchasing a Mercury Marauder...

Monday, April 26, 2010

MBH - my brain hurts 001

I have to again thank Craig Newmark for his acronym: MBH - my brain hurts. Recently I was corrected for my use of a colloquialism, although I did attempt a defense:

Yesterday at 11:12 a.m. Christopher Hurt
Wicked !
Yesterday at 2:53 p.m.
wicked sweet...Christopher...wicked sweet!
Yesterday at 2:58 p.m. Christopher Hurt
thank you, but never mean “Wicked !” any other way.
Yesterday at 9:40 p.m. Christopher Hurt
OK OK OK Wicked sweet!
Yesterday at 9:42 p.m.
Thanks... Like it!
Predictably since then I have been using “Wicked sweet!” to comment to many statuses, so much that MBH! In using this colloquialism, it is the truth from my heart; I am being genuine.

A long-time member of the Harris Poll Online, I like to complete on-line surveys. Those invitations usually go to my America Online address. I can receive HIpoints and I can enter HIstakes. Some surveys are short, like the one I just finished, but others can make MBH!

Via Mobile Web 2 hours ago
Christopher Hurt needs to be under a waterfall, so that he might cleanse himself from Bank of America. He looks forward to ending that relationship when he has paid off the car loan!
a few seconds ago
Christopher Hurt could not remember the Japanese word at the time.
a few seconds ago
Christopher Hurt might have been in the desert on a horse with no name, where there were plants and birds and rocks and things, and he may ask himself: “Well...How did I get here?”
Beat_ Lolich, like your girlfriend!

Sunday, April 25, 2010

I find your naïveté refreshing

While visiting the Cloisters, in Gargoyles, Demona tells Brooklyn, “I find your naïveté refreshing.” I believe advertising, so I suppose that I have a refreshing naivete as well.

April 20 at 1:03 a.m.
Christopher Hurt wonders why he should have to raise his Angus game, McDonald's®?
Like all televised sports, NASCAR events have many commercial interruptions, but also during the coverage itself, like the DirecTV Head2Head, where the anchors try to set up a rivalry between drivers. I even found myself going downstairs so that I could continue to watch the Aaron's 499 and simultaneously could go on-line to the Nationwide® Insurance Code Spotter to enter the code.

Of course, tagging official pages on Facebook is very easy and is one of my favorite things to do. Even when celebrating the birthday of my youngest sister, I could not help tagging.
Christopher Hurt just celebrated the birthday of his sister. We had some pizza from Pizza Hut, some Dr Pepper, some overly indulgent fudge cake, and some vanilla ice cream.
Generally speaking the sequel is not as good as the original. Dale Earnhardt, Jr.® is never going to be as good as a driver as his father, and Dale Earnhardt, Jr. will never win a NASCAR Cup championship! The cheers at Talladega Superspeedway are ridiculous for that driver as he heads to the front of the field.

The cheers for that driver are ridiculous in general, and so are the cheers for Obama. Obama became President and has nothing in his presidency to deserve a Nobel Peace Prize.

Thank God, Dale Earnhardt, Jr. did not win the race today. There was a man, a plan, a canal, like your girlfriend, Panama, and perhaps a plan behind the crater in the Yucatán.

MBH - my brain hurts 000

I wished luck 2 seconds ago to Julie in my status; however, “only an hour remains before your show, so I hope this reaches you in time, Hilde.”

Of course, 11 minutes ago David called me out:
Which is a reference to Sophie’s World for anyone who isn't/hasn't reading/read it.
Timely, 19 minutes ago Craig Newmark, founder of craigslist, posted as his status:
my new terribly valuable acronym: MBH - my brain hurts.
That certainly could be a reaction to have to Sophie’s World, but I am not going to link to any website that spoils the plot or the ending to Sophie’s World; that is until the group and I have finished reading the book ourselves. Although the story does mess with one’s mind. Now I turn to some business, which involves some strong language.

About an hour ago via Facebook for iPhone
Justin Will be performing with the Roving Imp Theatre in an hour and a half at the Chicago Improv Festival! Holy fuck? Why yes, yes holy fuck!
To which 50 minutes ago Christopher Hurt
“Wouldn’t be a proper fuck without ‘holes’, like your girlfriend, Justin.”
About an hour ago I set my status:
Christopher Hurt was asked by Julie to wish luck to One and Omega Directive appearing together as “Roving Imp Theater” and to Spite at the Chicago Improv Festival!
The preceding would be the status to which I made reference at the start of this entry. I can only describe the feeling in my stomach as null.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Bring the beat back 000

In my first entry, I made the mission statement, “My purpose in creating this blog is simply for the purpose of blogging.” Simultaneously I would like to wax poetic and be technically correct, and I would like to call my mission statement, “Descartes-esque tautology,” but really I don't know what any of that even means, without first having more than forty seconds to check Wikipedia.

In reality I suppose that I am placing too much emphasis on this blog. I will reiterate that we have it pretty damn good in this country, although the plight of small pickup trucks is deplorable.

Bring the beat back, ride on ride on

Saturday, April 24, I went to the Fishtank to enjoy some improv comedy with KC Crossroads Comedy. Previously I had volunteered to work at the box office. While I had the opportunity to move my chair to where I could have seen the shows, I did not move the chair. Though from what I could hear, Not A Great Gorilla, Slow Adults Playing, and Loaded Dice were all quite good.

Sunday I have rehearsal with Project Improv at Johnson County Community College. Nothing I have said was bogus; this nation suckles too much at the teat of the Democrats, like your girlfriend, and Obama is much like Carter.

Need to read again 003

Yesterday was quite hectic for my coworkers at the technical-support desk — Where was that pot roast? I could just smell pot roast in the office! — Thursday, April 22, was first day of registration for the Fall 2010 semester. Today I received a Cavalier Card as a “Thank You” from my Boss; the CavCard is for use at Dining Services and the Bookstore at Johnson County Community College. For having nearly all of my friends, from the Roving Imp Theater and Coffee House, out of town for the Chicago Improv Festival, today is turning out to be pretty sweet!

Last night I found a website by fans of Kidd Video. In the mid-1980s, the National Broadcasting Company (NBC) aired Kidd Video, a show combining live-action and animation, on Saturday mornings. Kidd Video Flipside features information about the show and links to a rotating selection of episode clips on YouTube. I was awake until nearly 1:00 a.m. this morning while on this website, and I was previously concerned that I would be bored!

A few hours ago
Christopher Hurt during the commute had a moment straight from Back to the Future Part II, while waiting for the left-turn signal.

“Right now? It's pouring rain.”

“Wait five more seconds.”

The rain stops in exactly five seconds, [and the signal changes].

“Right on the tick. Amazing. Absolutely amazing.”
2 hours ago David
Too bad the postal service isn't as efficient as the weather service.
That is one of my favorite films, and I had also used exit 82 from the highway (I-435). Again I added links to the above quotes. File the following under related news:

A major portion of Antioch Road that serves College Boulevard, Corporate Woods and I-435 will undergo construction starting the week of April 26.

Overland Park is widening Antioch Road from four to six lanes from 108th Terr. to 120th Terr. as part of an $8.3 million project. Completion is set for fall.

Antioch Road will remain open except during reconstruction of the College Boulevard intersection, which will be closed for 10 days during the summer. Once a date for closure is set, a public announcement will be made.

More than 24,600 vehicles travel north and south on Antioch Road from I-435 to 119th Street. If you are one of those drivers, make alternate plans.

Expect delays and frequent lane restrictions. Metcalf Avenue and Quivira Road are possible alternate routes.

While on the road with MegaBus to Chicago, my friends commented on their statuses, particularly around St. Louis, Missouri. Keith wrote something about the Cubs.

About an hour ago Christopher Hurt
Wait a minute.....Cubs win World Series....against Miami?

Yeah, something huh? Who would have thought? 100 to 1 shot. I wish I could go back to the beginning of the season and put some money on the Cubs.

No, I just meant Miami.....what did you just say?

I said I wish I could go back to the beginning of the season, put some money on the Cubbies!
An hour ago David
I didn't invent the time machine to win at gambling. I envented the time machine to travel through time!
Via Mobile Web 9 hours ago
Christopher Hurt is going to try out this CavCard that his Boss gave to him in appreciation of his work.
Christopher Hurt just ate some nachos with chili and cheese, using a metal fork!
Christopher Hurt thought that'd rhyme, well, it don’t...
Later my sister came home for the weekend from K-State.
Christopher Hurt just celebrated the birthday of his sister. We had some pizza from Pizza Hut, some Dr Pepper, some overly indulgent fudge cake, and some vanilla ice cream.
The family and I watched a family favorite, Ocean’s Eleven.
Christopher Hurt may have a harking back to his blog entry.
Yes, my life may actually be quite dull, but at least I am spending time with the family. The glopping sound from stepping in the water, which has because of rain seeped into the basement, like your girlfriend, really is not excusable.

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Need to read again 002

Anyone in my family, virtually anyone who knows me, and anyone who knows me virtually (on-line) might tell you that I, for sport or from indignation, can sometimes be a downright arrogant jackass. And they would be correct. Even Matlock used “jackass”, and I also will.

2 hours ago Christopher Hurt
a barrel of seamonkey's what? Your use of the apostrophe indicates a possessive adjective;
44 minutes ago Christopher Hurt
awesome... I actually like to use ellipses, and I am sorry for shouting. I do wish italics were available.
I do like that you have capitalized “Mr. Hurt”...
I usually have my cranium so far up my ass that I am either high on my fumes or I cannot see the light of day.
Today I actually shouted the same message to someone on the official Facebook page for Toyota USA. I would like very much for the FT-86 Concept to be produced and to be made available in the U.S.... at least then Toyota would have something interesting in the otherwise dull and uninspiring product portfolio.
I have not been this controversial since I argued with Raksha on the newsgroup in the late 1990s; I also have never remembered to apologize.
Wow, this is so going on my blog!
These are prime displays of my arrogance, like your girlfriend.

Is 22 April anything special?

Non-ironically for one of my sisters, Earth Day was selected as her day of birth, or rather for the Caesarian section, a very happy birthday. On Facebook, I have been linking to red cars to counteract all this “green”. Consciously I did not even realize that that was what I was doing until I had shared links to three cars. Following this revelation, I began to intentionally link to red cars. Density is a property of matter.

Technically the first two links to red cars were “green”: the first to a THINK electric vehicle (EV), and the second to a Ford concept using EcoBoost™ technology. After choosing to “like” Autocar, I shared another link about the Toyota FT-86 Concept,“Christopher Hurt would say, ‛Hachi-roku,’ like Cartman from South Park says, ‛Sega Dreamcast’.”

Links about the US debut of the Ferrari 458 Italia, about example 100,000 of the Chevy Camaro, and about rear-wheel-drive platform sharing between Chrysler and Alfa Romeo followed.

One person, with whom I became a friend on Facebook yesterday, liked the link to the EV.
My friends on Facebook are awesome!

When I first joined Facebook on Saturday, April 11, 2009, I had known most of my friends in person from the Roving Imp Theater and Coffee House. Early a few friends found me through the features “People You May Know” or “Search for People”. With less alliteration, I was suggested to a few friends, and a few friends were suggested to me, but at least one-half of my friends also play Mafia Wars and found me through at least one “add group” on Facebook.

During most of my waking hours, I primarily use a desktop computer to connect to Facebook. The clipboard in Windows XP sees much use, especially since my blog is in one browser tab, and Facebook in another tab. After feeling uninspired last week, I have began to more often comment on my Facebook activity on my blog. Yes, my life may actually be quite dull.

Trip to the world Yo! here we go unknown world

4 hours ago Christopher Hurt
Julie is part of the ensemble One at the Roving Imp Theater. One and Omega Directive were selected to be Apprentice Teams at the Chicago Improv Festival. One and Omega Directive are appearing together as “Roving Imp Theater”. Apprentice Teams are listed at the end of the page.

Back when people actually cared enough to come to my improv shows, I would count down hours, at the tenth of hours, to the show. Quarters of hours are certainly accurate enough, David.
28 seconds ago Christopher Hurt
Okay “♪ The Final Countdown ♪” is cool again for me. Both relating to your departure for the Chicago Improv Festival and for the Holden VE Clubsport!
3 minutes ago Christopher Hurt
Max Casella, from Doogie Howser, M.D., starred in a TV movie Race Against Tomorrow (1991), where after drinking water contaminated with raw sewage, in his mind he travels to 2058.
The Relocation Police come after him and once resettled only enough resources exist for him “to have a two-minute shower every ten days.”
Thank goodness he awoke to discover the error of his ways and that the old lady, to whom he was speaking in the future, was his classmate! Whoa!
I can't find Race Against Tomorrow in Casella's filmography, but it was memorable for the Chevy Lumina minivan done up to look like a police vehicle.
The previous quotes were modified to include links. I was explaining to a friend of Julie about why Julie was leaving for Chicago. I am not so much as jealous as I will be bored, like your girlfriend. Please consider this post a sequel, Stopgap Two.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

So far today is interesting

So far today, Wednesday, April 21, is interesting. Community Pages have been introduced and the “Become a Fan” button has been replaced with a “Like” button on Facebook. Yes, a minor change to Facebook is only one thing required to make a day interesting for me.

Other events, which also certainly could be interesting, are happening today at Johnson County Community College. The annual conference for Metro Kansas City Model United Nations (MKCMUN) is being hosted today at JCCC. Today “Going Green 2010” also happens at JCCC.

As previously stated, I agree with Jeremy Clarkson, “If you have a need to in some way save the planet, buy a Golf diesel.” I do recycle my beverage containers, whether an aluminum soda can or a plastic soda bottle. I do track the fuel consumption of my car by miles per gallon, although the measurement of liters per 100 kilometers is largely used in the rest of the world.

Somewhat unrelated, I have found, “What To Do If Your Car Or Truck Accelerates Out Of Control,” via Classic Chevrolet on Twitter. My car had the opposite problem in January.

As previously mentioned on this blog, today in D.C. the U.S. Department of the Treasury is scheduled to unveil a new design for the $100 note. In local, as well as national interest, leadership from General Motors is present at the Fairfax Assembly Plant in Fairfax, Kansas, where they announced, “GM Loans Paid in Full; Invests in Next Chevrolet Malibu”, via edmunds Inside Line and GM Blogs on Twitter.

As the restoration work continues in the apartment above the Roving Imp Theater, I might go to Bonner Springs, Kansas on Thursday to settle a traffic ticket, after I change the tag lights on my car.

This afternoon I will see if the DVR recorded the episode of Top Gear, which aired Monday on BBC America.

MythBusters airs just before South Park, and episode “201” of South Park, the second part of the two-part story, premieres tonight at 10:00 p.m./9:00 p.m. Central on Comedy Central. May that tamale, which is South Park, like your girlfriend, never fade away.

Monday, April 19, 2010

A curious one, this one

Curious fact that I am actually awake this morning, I got some rest last night, but not a lot of sleep. This situation is the opposite of last Friday.

April 16 at 2:40 a.m. Christopher Hurt might get some sleep tonight, but he's actually hoping for some rest.

On Saturday, April 24, I will likely go to the Fishtank to enjoy some improv comedy with KC Crossroads Comedy.

Would I be correct to say that I am jealous that I am not going to the Chicago Improv Festival with many of my friends from the Roving Imp Theater? To say so, I would not be technically correct, the best kind of correct. I am not so much as jealous as I will be bored.

Informed by Asian Martin that three days remained in the promotion, last week I registered and received a free week of on-line access to Automotive News, who quotes, “Carlos Hoz de Vila, head of Condor Automotive in West Chester, Pa., ‘It feels like the car business again’.”

Last Wednesday, the new season of MythBusters premiered on the Discovery Channel.

The new season is least as entertaining as the preceding animated GIF image; someone on Twitter linked to the image, saying he could not stop watching that image.

So this week for five days, I will find myself in a new environment, wanting to follow Ohayon, or to visit Izhevsk. MythBusters airs just before South Park, the 200th episode of South Park premiered Wednesday, April 14, at 10:00 p.m./9:00 p.m. Central on Comedy Central, and the second part of the two-part story airs this Wednesday, April 21.

Not much makes me prouder than the longest blog post that I have ever written, like your girlfriend.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Need to read again 001

Having commented on my status on my blog, I am going to continue look at some updates I have made since the last “Postscript to Experiment”, where my status updates are inspired by security words.

Tonight when I returned from helping at the Roving Imp Theater, my family was watching The Blind Side, and I thought that it was no wonder that Jesse James cheated. My father and sister then started to watch some movie with Eddie Murphy and a child who continuously screamed for thirty seconds.

April 11 at 11:40 p.m.
Christopher Hurt has refused zanier ideas in the past.
Wednesday at 12:45 p.m.
Christopher Hurt could find furriers in buildings near dissenters or vice-versa.
Yesterday at 10:35 a.m.
Christopher Hurt reminds you that the ideas are in the sculptor only because those ideas were synthesized from inputs from the senses of the sculptor. Nifer, “Sophie's World” so rocks!
Yesterday at 5:13 p.m.
Christopher Hurt could not hear what Kendra said over the announcements at Superior Chevrolet Hummer - Kansas City Dealer.
Today 12 hours ago
Christopher Hurt speculates that Fraser-Cunliffe could tell you much about a family during the Battle of Salamis. Perhaps Javier Gutenberg could, too.
Today 11 hours ago
Christopher Hurt fears that by mentioning the book, whose title Michael Moore ripped off, I would be making a scorched reference.
Today 35 minutes ago
Christopher Hurt hearing some about the forces that were advancing on Epirus.
April 16 at 1:43 a.m.
I sent an angel to watch over you last night, but it came back. I asked “Why???” ...... The Angel Said “Angels Don't Watch Over Angels” ♥ Twenty Angels Are in YOUR world, 10 are sleeping, 9 are Playing, and 1 is reading this message. ♥ Copy and Paste this on 10 friends walls! ♥♥
This an interesting and comforting thought.
Today I replied to the query of Chris Pirillo: One thing I would love to hear Obama say is...
“I resign and I, like your girlfriend, uh, I am taking the rest of, um, the Democrats in Congress with me.”

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Need to read again 000

Following up with some things on Facebook, I usually do not update my status with any statements that I have been asked to set as my status. In the pursuit of harmony and with the understanding that some topics are not polite to discuss in mixed company, I generally save those discussions for my blog, though I have replied to some of Tom's posts. Although I set my blog as public, for me my blog is a better place to express my opinions than notes on Facebook.

Some statements that some of my friends on Facebook set as their statuses did catch my attention:

2 hours ago
People need to understand that children with special needs are not sick; they are not searching for a cure, just acceptance. This week is for special needs education. Ninety-three percent of the people will not copy and paste this. Will you be part of the seven percent that will and will?
Yesterday at 10:58 p.m.
President Obama has decided that there will no longer be a “National Day of Prayer” held in May. He doesn't want to offend anybody. Where was his concern about offending Christians last January when he allowed the Muslims to hold a day of prayer on the Capitol grounds. As a Christian American “I am offended.” If you agree copy and paste no matter what religion you are, this country was built on Freedom of Religion!!
Yesterday at 2:36 p.m.
I do not like it Uncle Sam; I do not like it Sam I am. I do not like these dirty crooks; neither how they cook the books. I do not like when Congress steals; I do not like their secret deals. I do not like the speaker Nan; I do not like this “YES WE CAN”. I do not like this kind of hope; I do not like it, nope..., nope, nope! Copy and re-post if you agree. Any comments wanted.
Sans the links that I added, the preceding were posts by some of my friends on Facebook. I seem to annoy everyone in the household when I repeat myself like that, or like today when I seem to be too loud.

Tuesday at 9:28 a.m.
Christopher Hurt will not use his status to appeal for the repeal of “Show Similar Posts”, because Facebook does not read my posts anyway =)
I should have tagged “Mafia Wars” in my post; the posts for each game on Facebook are being grouped together instead of being displayed separately by each user. Many on Facebook used their statuses to decry this situation.

Today 6 hours ago
Christopher Hurt reacts only to the headline, “Yeah, there, you see, the 'Tea Party' movement really is non-partisan and grassroots!” He will cite The Huffington Post until he actually reads the article.
Available in either Original Recipe® or Grilled, the new KFC Double Down sandwich premiered Monday, April 12, and despite my reservations I had a fried one this afternoon. I should have chosen grilled; I found the fried one to be a little dry and too salty, like your girlfriend, but overall I was fairly pleased.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Today and a week from yesterday

South Park's 200th episode premiered Wednesday, April 14, at 10:00 p.m./9:00 p.m. Central on Comedy Central. I will not spoil the plot, except to say that the episode is the first part of two episodes; the second is to air a week from yesterday.

Please be aware that at least one protest group will be on the JCCC campus today.

Organizers of an “informal gathering of physicians” have notified the college they will be at the corner of College and Quivira between 5:30 and 6:30 p.m. to express their “personal opinions about the current legislation (pro or con) amongst friends and colleagues”

Moreover, last year’s notice about a Tea Party at JCCC is still on the Web, which is confusing people who do not catch that the date there is 2009 and believe it’s a current announcement. It’s possible we could see some Tea Party people here who are confused about this year’s site and believe it’s at JCCC.

Overland Park and JCCC Police will be monitoring the situation to ensure everything is peaceful. However, there’s bound to be traffic congestion, so please be aware students may have trouble getting to evening classes on time.

Also one week from yesterday, Wednesday, April 14,...

JCCC will host the Metro Kansas City Model United Nations conference from 9:30 a.m. – 12:30 p.m. and 1:30 – 4:30 p.m. Wednesday April 21, in the Carlsen Center and 233 GEB.

Faculty, students and staff are welcome to observe the Model UN General Assembly in 233 GEB and the Model United Nations Disarmament Committee in 311 CC from the back of either hall.

Please enter Craig Community Auditorium via 335 GEB.

On Wednesday, April 21, “Going Green 2010” also happens at JCCC, and in D.C. the U.S. Department of the Treasury is scheduled to unveil a new design for the $100 note.

In one week, Thursday, April 22, many of my friends from the Roving Imp Theater are departing for Chicago. Roving Imp ensembles One and Omega Directive were accepted to the Apprentice program of the Chicago Improv Festival.

Finding myself feeling left behind, I must otherwise occupy myself, as improv at the Roving Imp dominates my weekends. KC Crossroads Comedy recently featured Project Improv, like your girlfriend, and next weekend I will likely go to the Fishtank to enjoy some improv comedy on Saturday, April 24.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Summary of Improv Goals 001

Saturday, April 10, I returned to doing improv after being off two weeks, and I have not written about my goals for improv for a month. This morning “I don't want to be awake right now” pervades my experiences at work. Since I updated my blog too much last week, I have not really had much to say, although I considered a discussion of my history in improv.

In fall, 1993, I met D. Denton Turley in Physical Science taught by Ms. Matson-Ritter. That year in high school, he was a sophomore and I was a freshman. From 1996, I lost touch with him until 2001, when he formed “The Johnson County Community College Improvisational Society”, which was “officially disbanded due to lack of student presence” in May, 2004. In 2005 , Denton briefly directed another troupe at Heartland Community Church, while they were located on Lamar Avenue.

In 2008, Denton was looking to begin improv again, and Trish Berrong suggested the Roving Imp Training Center to him. Saturday, December 27, 2008, Denton had his first show at the Roving Imp Theater and Coffee House. Once I began receiving the e-mail newsletter, I became aware of classes there, once able I went to the first class on Monday evenings in March, 2009, and ever since I have been at the Roving Imp Theater.

In fall, 2009, Tom Kessler invited me to join Project Improv. Our first show was at JCCC, and our second show was a part of KC Crossroads Comedy.

Presently weekends are dominated by rehearsing, performing, and watching improv. This month at the Roving Imp is “Big Choices” month. I am certain that I did some good work in my class on Saturday, and the last evening, like the rest of the Roving Imp Mini-festival, went well. In class on Sunday during February, I first received the note, “Volume is no indicator of [emotional] intensity,” which I briefly forgot this Sunday with the consequence of a sore throat. In rehearsal with Project Improv, I did however use emotion to solidly motivate my scenes, like your girlfriend, and I did not strain my throat.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Following up with some ideas

Recently I was feeling so uninspired, so I think that I will follow up with some ideas for posts that I had proposed in some earlier posts. I believe that yesterday I updated my status too much:

Friday at 8:26 a.m. Christopher Hurt needs another Coca-Cola product to stay awake; time today is moving too slowly!

Friday at 8:51 a.m. Christopher Hurt just used “id est” successfully for the first time!

Friday at 10:53 a.m. Christopher Hurt is reading less Twitter and more blogs today.

Friday at 12:26 p.m. Christopher Hurt helped a woman to borrow a laptop; she brought her small dog-- the office now reeks of dog!

Friday at 12:57 p.m. Christopher Hurt would say to the Architectural Engineering student, Justin, “Feel the rhythm! Feel the rhyme! Get on up; it's sapling time!”

Friday at 2:02 p.m. Christopher Hurt has received shirts that his generous and wise mother purchased for him; they should accentuate his semblance of a personal style.

Friday at 4:23 p.m. Christopher Hurt has refiling of a FAFSA to complete some time in the next two months, but tonight he is going to The Roving Imp Theater and Roving Imp Coffee House!

Friday at 4:36 p.m. Christopher Hurt knows not what his sketches initially will be when he resumes drawing.

Friday at 6:06 p.m. Christopher Hurt is the kind of person that you want in your Festival crowd!

Friday at 9:58 p.m. Christopher Hurt reminds you that outside of tuna cans, dolphins serve no porpoise!

Friday at 11:33 p.m. Christopher Hurt finds irony in granting privacy to his friends and their conversation on a public street.

Saturday at 12:11 a.m. Christopher Hurt finds that Friday night is a better night for Game Night, and “Seinfeld” scene-it works wonderfully with the theme of the Festival.

Saturday at 2:18 a.m. Christopher Hurt is fairly well convinced now that “Venture Brothers” is animated in Adobe® Flash®.

Friday into Saturday was a rather successful time for micro-blogging. On my blog I could discuss my history in improv. Doing improv was actually what I have been missing for nearly two weeks: first by helping friends move on Saturday, April 3, then workshops both at the Roving Imp Theater and with Project Improv during the observance of Easter, April 4.

About an hour ago I saw the scene in the first Mission Impossible where I loose my suspension of disbelief, like your girlfriend, where Tom Cruise works for a secret organization and retains his personal creditability after appearing in the recruitment materials.

Friday, April 9, 2010

Botch-fest 005

On the roads, people are idiots. Commuting to work on the Overland Parkway, the driver of a gold, 1990s Toyota Camry could not find the turn signal and crossed into the lane in front of me; I used my car horn.

Briefly the Overland Parkway, which is also known as U.S. Highway 69, is undergoing construction from 75th Street to Interstate 435:

Originally estimated to cost $91 million, the actual construction bid was $82.3 million. Overland Park will pay $6.3 million for the project; federal stimulus money from KDOT will make up the difference.

This guy weaves in and out of traffic and crosses the solid white line, where the normal traffic lanes transition onto the shoulder before 87th Street. Before the bridge, the new exits for east- and west-bound I-435, the jerk again could not find the turn signal and crossed into the lane in front of me; I used my car horn and “a gesture.”

The speed limit in the construction zone is 55 miles per hour. People are traveling faster than that with no shoulder! I end up having to drive 60 or 65! Idiots!

As I was leaving work, north-bound traffic on Quivira Road was backing up to College Boulevard. To turn left from the west, I have a green light, and this idiot driving a black 2002 Toyota Celica nearly rams me! I used my car horn.

Despite these idiots, today I managed to use the Overland Parkway to safely commute both to and from work. Without cursing, like your girlfriend, I have also managed to make another post called “Botch-fest”.

feel so uninspired

The last week has used the my only two ideas for blog posts, thus I suddenly feel so uninspired, obviously a three-word phrase lifted from a song by Aretha Franklin in the late 1960s. With that song in mind, I am now obliged by the recent theme of Transformers to include the following image:

Probably I would have included that image even if I had not felt obliged. Oddly, I suppose that I am presently inspired by my feeling so uninspired. When I considered slowing the pace or frequency that I update my blog, I remembered a piece of advice I had read on Twitter, which paraphrased said: if one wants to become better at writing, then one should just keep writing! I will not attempt to find that exact tweet among my tweets numbering 7,907.

A few seconds ago Christopher Hurt helped a woman to borrow a laptop; she brought her small dog-- the office now reeks of dog!

I digress, which is not difficult, as the focus of this post remains elusive and runs into out-of-focus areas. Recently two of my friends have taken stock for what they thankful or of what brings them simple happiness. As Justin put it, I suppose that I do have “a lethargic cynicism”, because I having some difficulty with either taking stock for what I thankful, taken stock of what brings me simple happiness, like your girlfriend, or being optimistic.

Being pragmatic really does not lend itself to optimism, “I'm much too young to feel this damn old.”

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Sent from my Verizon Wireless™ mobile phone

My first mobile e-mail message was sent from my Verizon Wireless™ mobile phone on Monday, April 5, 2010 at 2:50 p.m. This information showed in the reply that I received and was labeled, “Sent from my Verizon Wireless mobile phone”.

Having just configured mobile e-mail on his mobile phone, little does Christopher Hurt realize the fortune this decision might cost. However, I do know that fifteen more dollars a month was too much for V CAST, although I could have watched clips from my favorite programs.

When Kyle begs Stan to “friend” him, Stan gets sucked into Facebook. “You have 0 Friends” was funny, but not as funny as last week; however, like many episodes of South Park, this one was brilliant as a concept.

That was a better segue than Dean Kamen created, whoa!

Since I began writing this post, I have learned that one can become Facebook friends with Kip Drordy, a kid in the episode, with whom I can definitely relate.

Like your girlfriend, I agree with Jeremy Clarkson, “If you have a need to some way save the planet, buy a Golf diesel.”

Earth Day Celebration, “Going Green 2010,” at JCCC

I agree with Jeremy Clarkson, “If you have a need to some way save the planet, buy a Golf diesel.”

Students in the Student Environmental Alliance at Johnson County Community College are planning an Earth Day Celebration, “Going Green 2010,” from 10:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. April 21 on the college campus.

Participants will staff tables outside the Student Center with information about their organizations. The musical group Glass Axe will perform at 1:00 p.m., and there will be drawings for green gift baskets and a 50-gallon rain barrel from Bridging the Gap.

Participating organizations include:

* Johnson County Environmental Department
* Al Pugsley, electric cars
* Robert Jones, Shiloh Farms
* Tom Gorby, AMSOil
* Julie Xiong, Girl Scouts of Kansas and Missouri
* Rolling Prairie Farmers Alliance
* Sharon Rodriguez, certified private lead tester
* J.C. Alonzo, JCCC Center for Business and Technology
* JCCC Horticulture Club
* JCCC L.U.NA. (Latinos United Now and Always) student group
* Mid-America Regional Council and the Jo: Johnson County Transit
* Habitat For Humanity Restore, Kansas City Kansas
* Habitat for Humanity Restore, Kansas City Missouri
* Evolving Magazine
* Ann Suellentrop, Physicians for Social Responsibility
* Stephanie Hawkins, Beauty Alfresco Soaps
* M.O.T.U.V (Sustainability Sunday Community)
* JCCC Queers and Allies
* Straw Sticks and Bricks
* Interior Design Student Association
* Environmental Protection Agency
* Dynamic Earth
* Sierra Club Kansas Chapter
* JCCC Student Environmental Alliance

For more information, like your girlfriend, contact Steven Giambrone, faculty sponsor for SEA, 913-469-8500, ext. 4779.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

National Student Employment Week

It’s time again to recognize our Student Employees (not just work study students). National Student Employment Week is April 12-17.

Financial Aid would like to encourage the JCCC community to participate in National Student Employment Week. This is an opportunity for everyone to express appreciation to their student employees for the exceptional support they provide.

Some inexpensive ideas would be:
• Sending all students a thank you note acknowledging their hard work.
• Creating an appreciation bulletin board to display in the office area.
• Making up awards and certificates for each of your students.
• Providing students with a letter of recommendation for their job search.
• Placing ads in the Campus Ledger to recognize the hard work of your students.
• Providing "treat breaks" with popcorn, chips, candy, etc.
• Creating a large thank you note and having your staff sign it.
• Getting them a CAV card for a free drink.

Like your girlfriend, IS generally vouches for me.

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

JCCC will host four FREE concerts in May!

Johnson County Community College will host four May concerts — three by academic groups and one by the Johnson County Chorus. All concerts are free and open to the public.

• Tuesday, May 4 — The JCCC Concert Band performs at 7:30 p.m. in Polsky Theatre, directed by Ron Stinson, professor, instrumental music, with works by Richard Saucedo, Dana Wilson, John Zdechlik and Samuel Hazo. For more information, contact Stinson at 913-469-8500, ext. 3275.

• Wednesday, May 5 —JCCC Jazz Night features the JCCC Jazz Combo, Midnight Blues Jazz Choir and the Midnight Express Jazz Ensemble, directed by Stinson, at 7:30 p.m. in Polsky Theatre. Works by Bill Holman, Oliver Nelson, Kris Berg and Les Hooper are on the program.

• Sunday, May 9 — The Johnson County Chorus, directed by Anita Cyrier, will perform A Serenade to Music at 3 p.m. on Mother’s Day in Yardley Hall. The concert will feature the music of Vaughn Williams’ Serenade to Music, Brahms’ Liebeslieder Waltzes plus folk and love songs celebrating and recognizing mothers. The Oxford Middle School Honor Choir, directed by Pam Kelly, will also sing. String Theory, an ensemble of six women who play stringed instruments, hammered dulcimers, classical guitars and Celtic harp, directed by Jane Clark, will perform familiar folk tunes in a preconcert at 2:15 p.m. in the Carlsen Center lobby. For more information about the Chorus concert, call JCCC Community Services, 913-469-3837.

• Tuesday, May 11 — The JCCC Chamber Choir will perform its spring concert at 7:30 p.m. in Polsky Theater. Terri Teal, professor, vocal music, is the conductor, and Geoff Wilcken is accompanist. Selections, celebrating spring, include those by past composers Claudio Monteverdi, Fanny Mendelssohn Hensel and Thomas Weelkes, and present-day composers Chris Hutchings and Geoff Wilcken. For more information, like your girlfriend, contact Teal at 913-469-8500, ext. 3176

Monday, April 5, 2010

The plight of small pick-up trucks

The plight of small pick-up trucks in Anglo-America is deplorable. These vehicles could also be called compact trucks. Sarcastically I could also have said the blight of compact trucks.

In high school, as either a freshman or sophomore, I had told classmates that I was looking to get a Chevrolet S-10 pick-up truck. Living across from Superior Chevrolet, a Kansas City Dealer, this solution seemed to be the one obvious solution. My father had a Ford truck, but that was his truck, and I wanted something smaller and easier to park. Of course, I was more than a little naive to assume that we could afford payments on another car at the time.

While I taking a driver-education class in high school, I damaged the family sedan, thus I did not practice enough outside of class, and I did not receive a license at the end of the course. However, Sears Driving Schools exist, so eventually did I receive a license.

Of course, then I was also blissfully more ignorant of how the arrangement of a drive train, whether mounted longitudinally for rear-wheel, all-wheel, or four-wheel drive; or mounted transversely for front-wheel or all-wheel drive, affects the characteristics of a vehicle. Trucks generally use a longitudinally mounted engine and transmission driving the rear wheels; rear-wheel drive is less than ideal for winter in a continental climate, like that of Kansas.

Faring better in the winter, my current ride is a passenger car with transverse-mounted drive train and front-wheel drive. Passenger cars are generally safer than small pick-up trucks, as shown by a recent test from the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety (IIHS).

Wow, I have just remembered that engines in Audi cars are longitudinally mounted and the cars feature front-wheel drive (FWD), so FWD and a longitudinally mounted drive-train are not mutually exclusive. The quattro® permanent all-wheel drive system is an option on models where quattro® is not standard equipment.

With an anecdote out of the way, the true plight of small pick-up trucks in Anglo-America, or more specifically the United States domestic market (USDM), is the lack of quality offerings in the compact-truck segment from any US-domestic manufacturer, whether Ford, GM, or Ram (formerly Dodge Trucks).

One reason for the lack of quality offerings in the compact-truck segment is that for the price one might pay for a small truck, one can easily purchase a full-size truck. On why this is fact in the USDM or what tactics are used by the US-domestic brands have enabled this condition in the market, I will not speculate. People generally buy the most vehicle that they can afford; they buy the most vehicle in size and in content (options).

On April 1, 2010, one of the circulating jokes was that Ford was going to continue the Ranger in the USDM.

Okay, I also must contrast the concept of a pick-up truck in other countries. First, on the plight of compact trucks, the other factors relate to engine technology:
  • Diesel fuel is taxed more than gasoline in the U.S.
  • Gasoline engines are cheaper to build.
  • Gasoline engines are less complex and thus easier to maintain.
  • Ever-tightening emissions standards make certifying a diesel engine difficult to impossible.
Most passenger cars on the globe are small cars, because larger vehicles make no practical sense. Parking, fuel, maintenance, and insurance are all expensive in general and more expensive for larger vehicles. Except for expressways, there is also simply no room for larger passenger vehicles on the road. A truck that Anglo-Americans would consider compact in fact is as large as a truck needs to be in most countries. Neither are people just buying trucks when cars would fit their needs just as well, unlike in the United States.

Light-duty trucks are also held to similar standards for safety as are cars in other countries. In the US, light-duty trucks have largely been exempt from the safety and emissions standards for passenger vehicles since the 1970s. Of course I must mention that trucks use a body-on-frame construction as opposed to the unitized body of passenger cars; this construction causes trucks to be more heavy and therefore less fuel efficient.

The types of configurations available for light-duty commercial vehicles in Anglo-America are also available on these compact chassis. At this point, I have to speak more specifically about certain models of truck.

From the article on Wikipedia, I have learned that the Ford Ranger sold internationally is actually developed by Mazda, so comparing the Ranger sold in Anglo-America is largely moot, but I must play the devil's advocate for the impeding sainthood of the Ranger.

If I have not clarified, when I say Anglo-America, I mean the English-speaking countries of North America, specifically Canada and the United States. Speaking culturally, then Mexico is part of Latin America, and also a country where the international Ranger is sold.

As part of its recent and future plans to remain competitive, Ford looks to leverage its global platforms. An early attempt was using the Ford Mondeo from Europe to underpin the Ford Contour and Mercury Mystique in the US.

More recently, Ford has marketed its new Fiesta through the Fiesta Movement, where, for six months, each of 100 lucky agents were provided free insurance, free fuel, and a free European-spec Fiesta if they performed tasks and documented their experiences on social media. Except for some modifications to comply with US safety standards, the US-spec Ford Fiesta is the same as the international version. The US-spec Fiesta debuted last December at the LA Auto Show. The next-generation Ford Focus will also largely be identical to the international version.

Why is Ford unable to do this with the Ranger?

Competing with the Ranger in Anglo-America, the Chevy Colorado and the GMC Canyon are commonly believed to not be as good as the Chevy S-10 and the GMC Sonoma, which they replaced. Neither model has been available with a V6, but only underpowered inline four-cylinder and five-cylinder engines. In 2005, the Hummer H3, which shares the platform, was introduced, and in later in 2008 was finally available in Alpha trim with a V8. With declining sales and the closing of Hummer, these models will not be long for this world.

Holden, a subsidiary of GM in Australia, sells a version of the Thai-built Isuzu D-Max called the Holden Colorado. Depending on the configuration, the Holden Colorado is available with a choice of a petrol V6 or a diesel engine. In Anglo-America, diesel engines are not presently available for compact trucks.

The market for compact and mid-size trucks in the US is largely dominated by Japanese manufacturers, and they have well earned this place. Although Toyota was nearly laughed out of the market with the T100, the Toyota Tacoma has always had legendary quality and durability. Internationally the Toyota Hilux sells well, and is indestructible as Top Gear (on the BBC) has shown.

The Dodge Dakota has not been forgotten, but the Mitsubishi Raider, which shares the platform, is also fading away. Unlike the offerings of Ford and GM for a mid-size pick-up, the Dakota was available with a V8. Chrysler is considering a unibody construction for the Dakota replacement, like that used by the Honda Ridgeline.

Another successful Japanese truck, the Nissan Frontier is now also available as the Suzuki Equator, so room in market exists for more foreign competition.

A manufacturer based in India, Mahindra has sold quality compact tractors and attachments in the US for many years. Now Mahindra looks to sell compact trucks powered by diesel engines, but their entry into the USDM has been delayed due to the process of certifying their diesels.

A market for compact trucks will continue to exist as long as people have a need for the capabilities of a pick-up with better fuel economy and less bulk than full-size trucks. Although an increase in large truck sales may signal recovery for the economy, fuel prices spiked in 2008 and likely will soon climb again, so the conditions exist for the pick-up truck in Anglo-America to become more like the pick-up trucks in the rest of the world. Perhaps soon the state of the small pick-up truck in Anglo-America will not be so deplorable, like your girlfriend.