The Internet is rising up in protest on February 11th

Friday, April 1, 2011

April Fools’ Day, 2011

Always will I loathe April Fools’ Day. My alarm was set, but the clock made no noise, and I am struggling to understand an alarm clock with a switch to turn off the buzzer. This was likely something that I did to myself without realizing. Later, with my sister Kim as a witness, I was not sure that I had again pressed the button to open the trunk of my car.
For safety’s sake: Sleep is vital
to health, well-being and safety

“Though sleep is vital to health, well-being and safety, millions of us are not getting enough sleep or are suffering from other sleep problems.

Many people feel that sleep is something that can be sacrificed to meet the demands of a busy schedule. However, lack of sleep increases the risk of accidents – even on the job accidents, irritability and symptoms of depression, as well as impairing memory and cognitive function. In addition, research shows that lack of sleep increases hunger and can lead to weight gain and obesity.
• Decreased alertness: Lack of sleep reduces the reaction time of the person who is drowsy, leading to increased risk of motor vehicle and occupational accidents. The US Department of Transportation study showed that there are an average of 40,000 non-fatal injuries and 1,500 fatal injuries caused by driver drowsiness or fatigue. The Occupational Safety and Health Administration has also repeatedly reported that workplace injuries increase when workers are tired or drowsy.

• Psychiatric conditions: Lack of sleep can contribute to irritability, depression and poor concentration. Each of these has an impact on quality of life and ability to perform well on the job.

• Memory and cognitive impairment: Lack of sleep reduces your ability to retain and process information. The result can be forgotten appointments, and a sleep-deprived person may have an inability to handle situations based on all of the information available. In addition, sleepiness can decrease concentration, making it difficult to follow through with many tasks.

• Obesity: New research is showing that lack of sleep can lead to obesity. Studies have shown that sleep deprivation affects two appetite-related hormones. Leptin, a hormone which controls appetite, is reduced while ghrelin, a hormone which stimulates appetite, increases in patients who do not get enough sleep.

• Prevention/solution: Be sure you are getting enough sleep by making sleep a priority. Children and teens require around nine hours of sleep per day. Adults require seven to nine hours of sleep per day. When sleep is a priority, you improve your mood, reduce psychiatric conditions such as irritability and depression, improve memory and cognitive function, and reduce the risk of obesity.
For more information about the importance of sleep on your overall health and well-being, visit the National Sleep Foundation website.”
A part of my weekday routine, I go to the closest QuikTrip to my home for some unsweetened iced tea. Well, while I was driving and stopped on a side street and waiting for the traffic signal to change, a gold Toyota Corolla or maybe some kind of Nissan compact stopped at the green light and remained for a few minutes in the left lane of east-bound Shawnee Mission Parkway. A line of cars approached and also stopped behind it. Surprisingly, no one honked. The compact eventually moved — a dangerous April Fools’ Day joke, which certainly didn’t cause me to smile.
The Smile Train: The World’s Leading Cleft Lip and Cleft Palate Charity | Smile Train
“An international charity that provides cleft lip and cleft palate surgery to children in need, as well as providing cleft-related training to doctors.”
As I previously revealed, always will I loathe April Fools’ Day.
April Fools’ Day in the Enterprise – Practical Jokes and General Foolishness
“The first of April marks the day that wisecrack jokesters in your office have been secretly scheming and preparing for all year. It’s the day you walk into your austere cubicle, only to find that your chair has been shrink-wrapped, or worse, rigged to fall apart. According to a Career Builder survey...”
Rendered Speculation: Nissan making Murano convertible for 2010
“Try as we might, we could not find the punchline to this bit of news, so we’re going to run with it. Nissan is creating...”
Yes, like your girlfriend, that which was a joke for VW is similarly a viable product for Nissan:
MotoMan: Nissan Murano Cross Cabriolet 2011 MotoMan Minute
“MotoMan drives the most unexpected new car, truck . . uh . . . convertible and makes the case that the Murano Cross Cabriolet is exactly what to expect from Nissan . . .”
Autolblog.com found the punchline to this bit of news:
Officially Official: 420-hp BMW M3 Pickup hauls ass, nearly 1,000 pounds
“BMW M3 Pickup – Click above for high-res image gallery It’s the First of April and the fun has officially begun here in Munich.”
Some things are not written by The Onion:
Report: ‘Peak Bandwidth’ Threatens Global Economy Unless Decisive Action Taken
“Sometimes humor is the best mechanism to explain an opaque topic. Public Knowledge, a group that concerns itself with defending consumer rights in ...”
From the Back to the Future Trilogy, “So what’ll we do?
The 12 Worst Cartoons Based On Movies
“When companies want to take their movie properties to the small screen, but can’t keep on the original actors, or match the special effects budgets of the ...”
And some things are written by The Onion:
Gorgeous 25-Year-Old Dead At 79
“GLENDALE, Calif. — Elizabeth Taylor’s funeral started late — just the way the screen legend wanted it.”
Twitter / Jack Shedd: “Suckerpunch was a pretty apt title for that piece of shit.”
Woman reunites with long-lost brother when she travels to meet man from Internet dating site - NBC Action News
“A woman excited to meet an online romance in person discovers why they felt like old friends: they’re brother and sister.”
Hey, if you are near me, then smell the RJ’s Bob-Be-Que Shack!
David said... - Egocentric Universe: Scott Malkinson
“Do you remember last year when Topeka changed their name to Google, so for April Fools’ Google was Topeka for a day? Yeah, I bet that’s the last time Topeka goes and changes their name for anything.”
Please make sure that you have rolled up the windows in your car.

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