Need to read again 007

Since 2006, like your girlfriend, I have read AutoBlog; however, I have failed to visit the site in the last few days, and fourteen pages later I am caught up. One of their features, “Daily U-Turn: What you missed on [this date]”, is like what I try to do with posts in this series, “Need to read again”.

A few seconds ago

Christopher Hurt says, with regards to Hannah Mott and her acceptance to an university in the U.K., “I admit that I have a problem with premature congratulations.”

I know Hannah through classes at the Roving Imp Theater. She has a performance tonight as part of the Robot Parade. Sorry, Hannah, I did not know that the comments section would not accept HTML. Another of my friends on Facebook also set an interesting thing as her status:

11 hours ago

IMPORTANT: WARNING!!! As of tomorrow, Facebook will creep into your bathroom when you're in the shower, fondle your butt, and pinch you in uncomfortable places. To change this option, go to Privacy Settings > Personal Settings > Bathroom Settings > Fondling and Pinching Settings and uncheck the Shenanigans box. Facebook kept this one quiet. Copy & paste on your status to alert the unaware!

I welcome those sort of funny diversions, but once again someone posted the same rubbish to the page for World Vision, and I responded:

About 3 hours ago Christopher Hurt

please post this garbage elsewhere. The world needs real prayer and not this superstitious garbage!

For reference, the same rubbish is found at the end of the post to which I linked. That is the most insipid rubbish at least since the so-called romantic dialogue in Star Wars: Episode II. With righteous indignation, I am personally offended by the presence of that rubbish in the message thread, and I do not often pray and am not even in any relationship!

I hope that I do not see that rubbish again, but if so then I shall write another “Botch-fest”, although I do not need that as an excuse. Another friend asked in her status, “....am I right, people?” I responded:

About an hour ago Christopher Hurt

“You are right, Mr. Fetachini.”
I was reflexly referencing ‘Garfield and Friends’.

About 45 minutes ago Christopher Hurt

I remember now: it was the episode where Garfield was the “stunt cat”.

Those remind me of an interesting site I found through Twitter via The Manga Critic, or rather, through The Manga Critic blog. Garfield Minus Garfield removes Garfield from the comic; however, the Square Root of Minus Garfield is similar but is crowd-sourced. I shared a few links on my profile from Square Root:

Wednesday at 9:52 a.m.

Christopher Hurt says, “Wicked awesome!”
This is a combination of the first Garfield strip, and the first two pages of the Manga, What’s Michael? by Makoto Kobayashi.

Wednesday at 12:09 p.m.

Christopher Hurt reminds you that paronomasia is also “nerd” humor.
Caption: 6 hours later...
Jon: Okay, Garfield. I've done all the math.
{A plot showing a Nermal curve}
Jon: Fascinating!

Wednesday at 1:28 p.m.

Christopher Hurt is trying to imagine the tune.
Garfield: {singing} You can scratch up my chair, insult my ma, play with my mouse, or beat up my dog, but don't you...
Garfield: {singing} Sleep in my blue wood bed... You can do anything, but don't lie in my blue wood bed.

I recently hear some news about Ford:

About 7 hours ago

Christopher Hurt likes the comment of Asian Martin, “You've Got To Remove Mercury Off Your List.” The entire Mercury line has consisted of nothing other than bland, badge-engineered, derivative products for years, so please do kill it, Ford Motor Company.

Lastly today was payday so I went downtown:

About 29 minutes ago

Christopher Hurt found the parking virtues of the Chevy Cavalier, ate an awesome burrito and drank some Dr Pepper at Z-Teca Mexican Grill in Crown Center, and returned home to find that Twitter is over capacity.

I will be enjoying shows at the Roving Imp Theater and Coffee House tonight.

Know your audience

One has to be mindful of one’s audience, like your girlfriend; the best is to be in the presence of friends. But delights surely mean a rewrite if unions have anything to do with the verdure in Latonia, says this one. My endearing qualities, my failed attempts at humor and my refreshing naïveté, are almost secondary to my inferiority complex, but I do not want to bring down the entire mood of the post.

About 41 minutes ago

Christopher Hurt does not feel like he wants to be awake right now...

Kitto being tired makes everything else feel secondary. The situation is like the lyrics from a song by Creed, which a friend on Facebook referenced, “[You create your] own prison”. Okay, usually editors use square brackets to insert information into a quote; however, I also use them when I change any of the words inside a quote.

For a moment, I thought about titling this post, “Postscript to Experiment”, but this is more of practical discussion. I also wanted some somewhat-divergent points to coalesce; a desire which will have more relevance later. This is already becoming less of a coherent post.

One has to be mindful of one’s audience, e.g., at the Roving Imp Theater, they have an All-Ages show at 7:00 p.m. and an Adults-Only show at 9:00 p.m. on Saturdays and occasionally on Fridays. Being mindful of one’s fellow players, on stage in improv, is another topic for another time. One’s point of view determines the perception of this arrangement.

While saying that some content is restricted during an All-Ages show, one could feel that one’s creativity is stifled; however, one could also perceive this as a creative challenge: to not necessarily see how far one can push the boundaries, but to play with the boundaries within limits. An All-Ages show also improves what audiences to which the theater can market itself.

This is a partial revelation at which I have arrived through taking classes and performing in class shows at the Roving Imp Theater. This revelation has also been re-enforced by rehearsing with the International House of Mancakes last night. I have also learned much with Project Improv, but with fewer restrictions on content.

Anyway, that is enough with the All-Ages bit, so I will continue with an Adults-Only bit. The preceding statement also serves as a disclaimer for the possible content past this point. The second thought in the first sentence is that among friends is the best audience.

Perhaps only from shyness, I generally say only certain things around certain people, and perhaps as Nifer once told me, “You edit yourself too much.” Of course, I don’t always think before I speak; I am human and certainly fallible. The most difficult part for me is constructing that perfect quip; I am not necessarily quick-witted but I am lucky sometimes, i.e., sometimes somewhat-divergent points in my mind can coalesce into a statement; I can at least share and show off my knowledge.

After rehearsal with IHOM last night for instance, Denton had largely finished his story: when he and a former girlfriend were together, she had laundered instead of dry-cleaned all of his suits. In the story, he told his girlfriend that all of the suits were from a second-hand stores, when later he wept privately about their loss. If he had told the truth, his girlfriend might not do his laundry again. Another example of my refreshing naivete, I interjected:

“So it is important to lie to [one’s] girlfriend! I would not know; I have never had a girlfriend. It is kind of like a conversation I had with my economics instructor: when [one buys] a washing machine, [one is] purchasing a good and service... like a girlfriend.”

I might not be a chauvinist or misogynistic as I am just plain ignorant, although these conditions are not mutually exclusive. A friend had posted as her status that after some hard work her laundry was now her bitch. Encouraged by previously success, I replied:

About 4 hours ago Christopher Hurt

If I crawl on all fours while tied to a leash, may I also be?

About 4 hours ago

Chris, that classifies as fucking creepy.

About 4 hours ago Christopher Hurt

I am that I am.

My feeling is better, anyways of having said these things. And I did not die!

Two guesses

I have worked at J.C.C.C. for more than eleven and half years, and since Monday, May 12, 2008, my department has been part of Information Services. Neither will I say exactly in which department I work, nor I would I ever link to any personal Facebook profile, except mine. On a magnetic, dry-erase board, my manager writes the “Thought for the Day”:

“The power to question is the basis of all human progress.”
Indira Gandhi.

Underneath this quote, someone, who was not I, wrote:

Is this true?

There was a little discussion about who wrote those words, and my manager remarked, “I’ll give you two guesses.” For the lack of a better title, that is what I am calling this blog entry. I am not sure how much of this post I will spend attempting to justify the title. I just wanted to have the title of the blog post in the post, I suppose.

I do not always recognize facetiousness, “Right, right. I have a real problem with that.” In knowing my coworkers, I just recognized such in the response on the board.

This blog simply exists for the purpose of blogging, but I think that I have not taken enough time to just talk about what interests me, and perhaps a better place is the “Extended Info” in the “User Profile” page.

Before January, improv did not always dominate my weekends, as I worked Saturdays, and thus now I do not watch as much T.V.:

♪ T.N.T. oi, oi, oi
Cause I'm T.N.T., I'm dynamite
We know drama, T.N.T. ♪

About 11 hours ago via web

I HATE those stupid commercials for that stupid iPad, which ruin my #TopGear viewing pleasure.

As far as I know, in 2005 the Discovery Channel was the first to air Top Gear in the United States. In its country of origin, Top Gear airs without commercial interruption, because the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC) is largely funded by the government of the United Kingdom. Presently the Top Gear airs in the U.S. on BBC America with new episodes on Mondays, for which the DVR sees much use.

On Wednesday nights, MythBusters airs on the Discovery Channel, and South Park airs on Comedy Central. Denton has requested that I become the technical person for the International House of Mancakes (IHOM). For at least the next three weeks, I will be attending their rehearsals on Wednesdays, and I will be calling the edits at their first show on Friday, June 11, 2010 at 7:00 p.m. at the Roving Imp Theater, in Bonner Springs, Kansas!

Apparently any hope for a coherent post was tangoed, but I can now justify the title:

About 8 hours ago

Christopher Hurt lost a second game of Monopoly to David at the Roving Imp Coffee House tonight. I bought some Hot Pockets and Diet Dr Pepper at the Hy-Vee, Inc. in the City of Shawnee, Kansas. I had to crank up “ayu’s EURO MEGA MIX ‘Y&Co. Mix’” to hear it over some garbage rap from a neighboring car at Sonic.

With only two players from which to choose, as to who won, “I’ll give you two guesses.”

If you said that David was the winner of the Monopoly game last night, then Konata says, like your girlfriend, “Good Job!”

Toward flecked

I have skipped right past allowing the security words to inspire my status updates and turned them straight into the title of this post to my blog. When I first started this post, I was merely going to review or at least comment on Blue Streak; however, I fear that more than one unnecessary post to my blog on the same day only risks further disruption of the space-time continuum.

I have modified two quotes for this:

First a quote from Now & Again, a T.V. series previously aired on the Columbia Broadcasting System (CBS);

“You know who I am, don’t you? So you know what I’m capable of, don’t you? Then hear me, friend. If you breathe a word of what you’ve seen tonight-- if you breathe a single syllable of your theory-- I will smite your ass so fast you'll skip right past heaven and hell and be turned straight into pus.”

“Pus?”

“Pus. It’s got to come from somewhere, right?”

And second a quote from Back to the Future Part III;

“Do not - I repeat - do not attempt to come back here to get me. I am perfectly happy living in the fresh air and wide open spaces, and I fear that unnecessary time travel only risks further disruption of the space-time continuum. And please take care of Einstein for me.”

Actually I just did not feel like writing two posts today. Yes, I am that lazy and did not want to be too tightly bound to one premise. I purpose a connection between the two possible posts: fleck as a noun means a spot or a streak, and a bit of spotty logic is the only way to connect the two.

REGNIER CENTER UPPER LEVEL PARKING GARAGE CLOSED FOR REPAIRS MAY 24 – 30

The Regnier Center upper level parking garage, adjacent to the south entrance of the building, will be closed to perform repairs May 24 – 30.

J.C.C.C. had not placed any barriers today, so I parked in that lot. This post may itself be leaning toward flecked. I will briefly return to the initial idea for this post:

Saturday at 1:09 a.m.

Christopher Hurt is watching Blue Streak on Turner Network Television and someday he might be okay with that.

Blue Streak is notable for featuring the song “Bling Bling”, from which the slang term springs, as traveling music. Luke Wilson grounds the movie well; however, I have really never found Martin Lawrence to be funny. My family also has Blue Streak in our DVD collection, and early Saturday my father had just finished re-arranging the furniture in the living room, so he decided to watch the movie on cable for a change. I really did not have much to say there, I suppose.

The Divergence Eve was actually somewhere earlier in this post. On this blog, I have stated that I am a Trans-fan and am aware of other meanings of the term. In Trans-fandom, Bluestreak is a character allied with the Autobots and was one of the first figures available in Generation 1 (G1).

I never possessed Bluestreak as a G1 figure, which was actually silver, but I do own Silverstreak as a figure from the Alternators line. As a G1 figure, a Datsun Fairlady Z is the alternate mode of Bluesstreak. In the Alternators line, a Subaru Impreza WRX is the alternate mode of Silverstreak. In both toy lines, the mold for Bluestreak is also used for other figures: in G1, both Prowl and Smokescreen also share the mold; and in Alternators, both Ricochet and Smokescreen also share the mold.

♫ All the same
Things over and over again ♫

I was also going to comment on a little running gag:

About 13 hours ago

Christopher Hurt gave JCCC Project Improv until 5:17 p.m., then he went to see Iron Man 2. He would rather watch the Audi R8 Spyder or Family Guy over Lost any day.

As previously noted, rather than simply saying that I do not understand or that I do not follow what someone is saying on Facebook, I might comment:

May 10 at 7:43 p.m. Christopher Hurt

TUESDAYS 9|8c on ABC; SERIES FINALE EVENT SUNDAY MAY 23 STARTING AT 7|6c

By commenting thus I am saying that I AM LOST; it is kind of a little running gag. Another of my favorite running gags involves sending a picture message. My 2003 Chevy Cavalier is covered with snow at least once a year. A friend recently observed, “Everyone’s status updates are about Lost. I’m so lost...”

About 11 hours ago David

Tell me about it! I mean, what’s Lost, a TV show or something? =p

About 15 minutes ago

Christopher Hurt activates secondary little-running gag: “Dude, where’s my car?”
http://www.editurl.com/h3j
(slides back, under rock)

I have previously uploaded pictures of my snow-covered car to Facebook. Kitto I am equally unlikely to ever completely view the entire series of Twin Peaks or The X-Files as I am to view Lost.

I am equally unlikely to ever to go to the cinema to see any of the films advertised ahead of Iron Man 2 last night at the Cinemark Merriam: Killers (I severely dislike the premise and Ashton Kutcher), Twilight: Eclipse (Please let everyone in this insipid series die!), or Grown Ups (I severely dislike the premise and Adam Sandler, although I do like Kevin James and Chris Rock).

Though I enjoyed the preview and I thoroughly like the animated series, I am not likely to be seeing The Last Airbender, because M. Night Shyamalan really does not need my money.

A friend of mine on Facebook found the following and set it as her status:

Just remember you can always be replaced by a seven n a half inch piece of plastic n 2 fuckin battery’s!!!

I responded to the grammar and I responded a bit too vitriolically, thus I have been unfriended. I have been too much of a hothead around paper; my literacy conforms to whatever group decides to read tonight at the Roving Imp Theater and Coffee House.

This is the truth from my heart, like your girlfriend.

Need to read again 006

My superficiality and bluntness have been duly noted, like your girlfriend. My endearing qualities have also been noted: my refreshing naïveté and my failed attempts at humor. Among my failed attempts at humor are the paronomastic.

A few seconds ago

Christopher Hurt reminds you, “Al Gore has no rhythm. According to South Park, he also has no friends.”

Kitto this is an obvious pun of algorithm, but Al Gore must know something about rhythm, because he has children; however, I do not know if Al Gore knows anything about electronic music.

Wednesday at 11:12 p.m.

Christopher Hurt can only allude to his problematic pursuit of paronomastic perfection.

YES! I know a bigger word for punning!
Of course, I am constantly attracted to the possibility of paronomasia, “Nifer rode an otter.”

Yesterday at 5:52 p.m. Christopher Hurt

My pursuit of paronomastic perfection is suddenly less problematic, but that is better said in person ;-)

Last night at the Roving Imp Theater and Coffee House, I said the following:

“I ‘otter’ not say this, but I rode the first thing, and ‘Nifer rode an otter’; also was the otter ‘disease-ridden’?”

Yes, some of my best material is delivered in person. Kitto Nifer’s humor is actually much more sophisticated than mine, I concede, so someone had responded:

And that’s a euphemism for what?

Yesterday at 7:06 p.m. Christopher Hurt

I thought that feminism was for everyone...
(slides back, under rock)

In otter words, I meant you feminism, in which you refers to Nifer. Feminism can’t be for everyone if it’s just for you; just a fact. Now this is no wonder why so many of my puns fail.

About an hour ago Christopher Hurt

“...by Fishy Joe’s! Try our new extreme walrus juice! 100% fresh-squeezed walrus! Ride the walrus!”
http://www.editurl.com/gwk
(slides back, under rock)

Time can always be found for a reference to Futurama.

Yesterday at 5:42 p.m. Christopher Hurt responded to a different status:

‘Great Scott’ Their mascot must not be the only one “lion” down on the job...
(slides back, under rock)

Yesterday at 5:57 p.m. someone replied to either the status, my comment, or both:

That’s otterly ridiculous!

Yesterday at 5:58 p.m. Christopher Hurt responded with an at symbol (removed for blog):

Damn it...

Yesterday at 5:59 p.m.

I win! U got the next one

Yesterday at 6:02 p.m. Christopher Hurt

Presently I have exhausted my supply of ideas.

Yesterday at 6:03 p.m.

Ur young...it’ll come back!

Yesterday at 6:08 p.m. Christopher Hurt

Without further information any conclusion that I would make would be a “forced induction”! Tuner humor!

Comments continued, but not on that topic. No one understood my reference to automotive culture; this is another failed pun, I suppose. Internal-combustion engines are either naturally aspirated or use forced induction, which is as much as I will try to explain in this example.

Whether or not any need exists to read those previous items again, David posted:

About 8 hours ago

David wants to know, if you had all the time in the world and money wasn't an issue, where in the world would you like to visit?

About 3 hours ago Christopher Hurt responded with a song transcribed in romaji:

♫ Trip to the world
Yo! Here we go unknown world e to umareta bakari no tabibito
narenai ashidori mo mata aikyou KIMERU toko dake BASHItto!
So many people in this world toki ni chuushou tokamonai wake ja nai kedo
SHIMANNAI toko ha Warp shite kou suji dake ha tooshite ikiteru That's our low! ♫

Tonight I will come join Improv-Abilities on May 21 for a celebration and show at the Lucky Brewgrille, 5401 Johnson Drive, in Mission, Kansas!

About 19 minutes ago

girl) am i pretty?
(boy)NO
(girl)do u want to b with me forever?
(boy)NO
(girl)would u cry if i walked away?
(boy)NO
she heard enough and waz hurt, she walked aw...ay te.......................................ar......s...... .........ran down her face.
The boy grabbed her arm:
(boy) your not pretty............, your beautiful
(boy) i dont want to b with u forever, i NEE...D to b with u forever
(boy) and i wouldnt cry if u walked away, i would DIE!!!
(boy whispers) plzzzzz stay with me
(girl whispers) i will...
Tonight at midnight ur true love will realize they love u. Something good will happen to you between 1-4 p.m. tomorrow it could b anywhere. Get ready for the biggest shock of your life!! If you dont post this to 5 other pages... you will have relationship problems for the nxt 10 yearS

About 9 minutes ago Christopher Hurt

Why are you posting this garbage here? And why have you not at least used MS Office to clean up the grammar and spelling of your post?

Any points for calling them “lambkins”?

Responding to Caedmon

“Responding to Caedmon” is indeed an esoteric title for a blog post, especially on a blog that does not include literature reviews. If not in front of a computer screen, I usually do not read any. “The triumph of video culture over print culture” has produced me as a hapless victim; I quoted Susan Jacoby’s The Age of American Unreason, which I did not actually read, but heard on CD.

As an audio-book, The Age of American Unreason comes on twelve CDs. While I was attending ITT Technical Institute, I would listen to the CDs during the commute. I survived through disc 6, which was a valiant effort, I suppose. Perhaps a symptom of my superficiality, I actually attempted to read Dune when my office was full of more of the people who read in front of me.

Yes, if the activity of reading is popular enough in my circle of friends, then I sometimes I will read. The struggle to “fit in” remains a large part of my life. Although I do not always require pressure to make a positive change in my life, my parents would say that such pressure is still necessary for me.

I do not often motivate myself into positive action, I concede. A lot of times, my life can be defined less by my actions and defined more by my inaction; this is especially evident in some of those notes on Facebook where I respond to questions.

♫ My dreams are dead and buried ♫

Ambition has been absent from my life for a while. Now, I do have goals; however, most of my goals exist in the nebulous:

“Someday I will move out of the house of my parents.”

My improv goals are different, like your girlfriend, in that they are all about continuous improvement, although I am not in any ensemble.

Earlier I mentioned that I am unable to afford health insurance, yet I receive a dental cleaning when I am able through the Dental Hygiene Clinic on J.C.C.C. campus. Part of the examination process for patients, a dental hygiene student checked my blood pressure, which has previously been in the pre-hypertension range but is now in the high blood-pressure range.

I have been strongly advised to see a physician about my high blood pressure. Tuesday I got a signature loan and soon I will schedule an appointment, most possibly with Mercy & Truth Medical Missions.

Need to read again 005

In my desire to kibitz on Facebook, I have not lately made many experimental posts. Too early to evaluate the success of sharing links to specific tweets, because my Facebook and Twitter accounts have not been unlinked for very long. For this reason, I am not titling this post, “Postscript to Experiment”.

About 14 minutes ago Christopher Hurt

That...is...awesome! I did not realize how awesome until I actually followed the link!

Sometimes my posts even rhyme internally:

Monday at 7:53 a.m.

Christopher Hurt feels better today, despite the weather. “Hare Hare Yukai” finished playing from his mix CD, and on the surface some of the issues from last week appear to be resolving themselves.

Internal rhymes are usually not consciously realized. For the uninitiated, “Hare Hare Yukai” is the first ending theme for the anime series The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya and translates, “Sunny Sunny Happiness.” The weather was overcast Monday, and I have said more memorable things both before and after Monday.

May 15 at 2:06 a.m. Christopher Hurt

And because Dial-A-Show, Level 3, Coma & Biblioclast all perform at the Roving Imp Theater, were all available in awesome?

They were!

[You might have to imagine that dialogue performed by Joe Pesci and Marisa Tomei in My Cousin Vinny]

Yes, I am that awesome, too. My Cousin Vinny is a favorite film with my family for many reasons, but chief among these is all of the car talk, specifically about the vehicles from the Sixties by General Motors.

♫ All the same
Things over and over again ♫

That would be an appropriate evaluation of the viewing habits of my family, particularly our DVD collection.

March 12 at 12:49 p.m.

Christopher Hurt wonders if he perpetuates “stale zaniness”?

I have wondered that beyond the scope of my improv performances as well. Regardless, I have secured a signature loan:

Yesterday at 1:31 p.m.

Christopher Hurt is soon headed to Mainstreet Credit Union.

About 3 hours ago

Christopher Hurt had a sandwich from QuikTrip and a Heritage Dr Pepper instead of the usual VAULT and Hot Pockets for breakfast today.

Whenever my zaniness becomes stale, I can always rehash the zaniness which I have largely kept with my family:

May 13 at 4:26 p.m. Christopher Hurt

Pikachu!
http://www.facebook.com/klondike?ref=ts

(slides back, under rock)

Yes, from time to time I used to say things in the voice and inflection of Pikachu, and I concede that seiyū Ikue Ōtani does a much better job than I. Losing more “man” points, I admit that I have played Pokémon Emerald for more than 300 hours.

A friend posted that I could always be counted on to like his statuses:

Yesterday at 11:49 p.m. Christopher Hurt

Part of what I do that makes me who I am.

Yesterday at 11:50 p.m. he replied:

If it is true, it is true.

Yesterday at 11:50 p.m. Christopher Hurt agreed:

Pika.

Yesterday at 11:50 p.m. he asked:

degio?

Yesterday at 11:51 p.m. by now, we were both confused:

It is true, Pikachu.

Yesterday at 11:51 p.m. he was confused no more:

Squirtle water cannon!!!!

Yesterday at 11:54 p.m. Christopher Hurt

That is a high-level Squirtle, or a Squirtle that has egg moves!

Yesterday at 11:55 p.m. he is suggesting the impossible:

lvl 100 man, had it since the days of red and blue, keeping it till rainbow version comes out, only releasing in San Fransisco

Yesterday at 11:59 p.m. Christopher Hurt

I believe you mean that you have had that Squirtle since the days of FireRed and LeafGreen, because Pokémon cannot be transferred from the 8-bit Game Boy cartridge.
Only Pokémon of Game Boy Advance cartridges can be transferred to the Nintendo DS Pokémon games.
Unless you are playing a ROM!

About 12 hours ago he replied:

correct, i cheated somewhat, using a hack engine to create a clone with the exact same stats and exp.

By ROM, I had meant a program on a PC to emulate the game. What else was I going to share again?

About 4 hours ago

Christopher Hurt saw some rare General Motors iron from the early Eighties today: a beige Chevrolet Citation and an Oldsmobile Delta-88.

Forgetting to mention that the Oldsmobile was powder blue, like your girlfriend, I should say that along with the Lucerne, many GM models have been recently discontinued.

Summary of Improv Goals 002

Color me confused, like your girlfriend, because I actually thought, yeah, I actually thought that the director of the thoroughly impressive show of K.C. improvisers at the Roving Imp Theater and Coffee House last Sunday night was also the guy from Monsters, Inc.

Ultimately I learned that his last name does also not begin with the often over-hyped, middle initial of the 43rd President of the United States.

David Razowsky is also not the player opposite T.J. in Trust Us, This is All Made Up, the T.J. & Dave movie. The T.J. & Dave movie was screened at the Roving Imp Theater on Friday, January 1.

With hope, my readers are finding my naivete to be refreshing, “I don’t know who any of those people are.” To be more technically correct, this situation is less about my naivete and more about my ability to be confused fairly easily.

More than twenty cents was moved in the Razowsky workshops this weekend, there has apparently been a real pair-of-dimes shift!

My failed joking aside, John says, “Now [I have] a clear path to follow for the foreseeable future, thanks to Mr. Dave Razowsky.” This week the workshop on Monday was both successful and full!

On Sunday, May 9, in preparation for the Sunday Warriors show on Saturday, May 22, I was given a note on my lack of energy, which besides my goal to work on my lack of physicality, sums up two of the greatest weaknesses in my improv. High energy is important in a show consisting largely of short-form improv.

Any progress on these goals are far from moot, although the style of improv in the Razowsky workshops this weekend was more about slow discovery. Regardless, Denton has asked for me to do the technical work for the debut show of International House of Mancakes (IHOM) on Friday, June 11, 2010.

Long Weekend

On Saturday, times like those of last week necessitated comfort food, so I ordered from Papa John's Pizza, and I shall just say, “I have had better days, weeks.” Spring hates me, and the feeling is more than mutual.


Water from overnight storms leaked into the basement from Wednesday night through Thursday morning. On Friday the indicator to check the engine lit in my car. And Saturday, May 15, my mother fell while at the movie theater.

While at Superior Chevrolet Hummer, a Kansas City dealer, I reflected:

Friday at 2:25 p.m. via Text Message

Christopher Hurt should have known things were going too good...

This was a long weekend; however, I could not dwell on my misfortunes for long, because as Nifer said to me, paraphrased, “No Eeyores here [at the Roving Imp Theater].”

About 9 hours ago Christopher Hurt

The David Razowsky-directed show of KC improvisers did the same to me. Great show! Great job, Nifer!

About 8 hours ago

Christopher Hurt was thoroughly impressed by the show tonight at The Roving Imp Theater and Roving Imp Coffee House, perhaps I should have remained longer. The guy from Monsters, Inc. directed and Jenifer did tech. I went to the Hy-Vee, Inc. in the City of Shawnee, Kansas for a change. Once home I watched the Official - [adult swim].

25 seconds ago

Christopher Hurt feels better today, despite the weather. “Hare Hare Yukai” finished playing from his mix CD, and on the surface some of the issues from last week appear to be resolving themselves.

Those were obviously my most up-to-date comments. The indicator to check the engine was not lit this morning; I had to spend seventy dollars for the diagnostic, although the part (a canister purge solenoid valve) is only forty dollars, for which I will need a loan.

My mother is mending well, despite a swollen ankle and landing on her knees; my sister Kim is visiting from K-State this week and will likely be shuttling my mother up to the door at her job.

I also had two of the worst television-viewing experiences of my life. As long as I live, I never want to see Let’s Make a Deal or The Ellen DeGeneres Show again. Utter drek, Undateable on VH1 had Daisy Fuentes among several people, like your girlfriend.

CAKE!

When I arrived at work this morning, I was more than a little irritated by the world. While placing my lunch inside the refrigerator, I noticed a piece of chocolate cake, but thought nothing more of it.

My coworker had sent me an e-mail last night:

hi Chris:
If nobody hasn’t gotten their greedy little paws on it there’s a piece of chocolate cake were your name on it in the frig!

So I went right to the fridge with that information. Of course, “Surprises let me know they care.” This piece of cake is massive! I have no ruler at this desk, so I had to approximate with my mobile phone.

Measuring 4.25 inches (10.795 cm) long by 3.60 inches (9.144 cm) wide by 2.08 inches (5.2832 cm) thick, this piece displaces 31.824 cu. in. (521.5019 cc) or more than one-half liter!

Of course I took a picture and sent a copy of the image to a few friends. One of my friends responded that I should pace myself and the piece could last for several days, like your girlfriend!

MBH - my brain hurts 003

Perhaps I have several more serial-blog posts than I realize.

No “Postscript to Experiment” or “Need to read again” will work for this post and “Botch-fest” is just too much, so I just might as well again use “MBH - my brain hurts”.

Chris Pirillo posted a quote on Twitter:

I am too weary to listen, too angry to hear.

Whenever I feel the need to respond to a post about politics, I will refer to this quote, instead of thinking of an intelligent response. Yeah, I am that lazy, and because politics make MBH.

Between the time I first saved this post and the time I awoke this morning, a thunderstorm caused significant damage about the metropolitan area in which I live, Kansas City. Now, personally we had no storm damage, but the water that usually leaks into the basement has largely failed to drain:

2 hours ago via Text Message

Christopher Hurt hates the world today: an inch of water found downstairs and every signal light found on the way to work.

My days have started better. The terminal at which I usually work became infected yesterday, so the restoration process is now entering its second hour. I am able to use another terminal at the next desk; however, this terminal does not have two monitors.

Before I left home for work this morning, Fox News was interviewing Trace Atkins about the “Disaster in the Gulf”? What the Hell does Trace Atkins know about the “Disaster in the Gulf”? MBH‼

Since my comments are tracing earlier events, I commented on the status of a friend on Facebook:

Yesterday at 7:21 p.m. Christopher Hurt

They have T-Shirts about ADD. They have T-Shirts about procrastination. I do not think that they have a T-Shirt about both; so that fact alone convinces me that these are separate conditions.

He responded:

Yesterday at 7:25 p.m.

Ha ha no Austin, and except Chris, that it's not just procrastinating. It's when I finally sit down and do it, I get distracted very easily. Like...very. People who know me would not deny if I told them I had ADD. So even though they are separate “conditions” can one effect the other? Just because they don't have a t-shirt about it doesn't mean that they don't correlate or even cause and effect for that matter. Maybe though, I should make a t-shirt to convince you otherwise =)

Yesterday at 9:47 p.m. Christopher Hurt

“Don't act hostile, I'll use the universal greeting.”
“‘Universal greeting’?”
“Watch, I'll have them eating out of my hands. Baa weep grahna weep ninny bong.”
“‘Baa weep grahna weep ninny bong’?”
“Baa weep grahna weep ninny bong.”
“See, the universal greeting works every time.”

Especially when MBH, I like using that dialogue. In other situations when MBH, I might post:

Monday at 7:43 p.m. Christopher Hurt

TUESDAYS 9|8c on ABC; SERIES FINALE EVENT SUNDAY MAY 23 STARTING AT 7|6c

Monday at 8:00 p.m. David

Zach’s status is from HOLY GRAIL, and my comment is from SPAMALOT...the musical version.

Monday at 9:25 p.m. Zach

You're an odd duck, Christopher Hurt :)

Excuse me, what I meant to say was, Eggs! 79 cents a dozen! Aisle 6!

Monday at 9:59 p.m. Christopher Hurt

QUOCK! I was referring to the fact that I was LOST; the series LOST presently airs Tuesdays on ABC. QUOCK!

Tuesday at 12:53 a.m. Christopher Hurt

I am indeed an odd duck, and in order to have proven that I had meant to imitate a duck character from a recent Coma rehearsal. QUONCK! There; that is much better.

Responding to another status by David, I used the quote again:

12 hours ago Christopher Hurt

“Don't act hostile, I'll use the universal greeting.”
“‘Universal greeting’?”
“Watch, I'll have them eating out of my hands. Baa weep grahna weep ninny bong.”
“‘Baa weep grahna weep ninny bong’?”
“Baa weep grahna weep ninny bong.”
“See, the universal greeting works every time.”

(slides back, under rock)

12 hours ago David

Chris, now I'm on ABC on Tuesday nights at 8/7c or something like that.

12 hours ago

Christopher Hurt cowers
The Transformers: The Movie (1986) - Memorable quotes

(slides back, under rock)

Unknown is how long I will respond with that quotation, but I really do like making a reference to Lost when I am not following what someone is saying, because then MBH less, and I am willing to do nearly anything to stop the feeling that a hammer has been dragged across my head, like your girlfriend.

YES, I affect YOUR life!

For an unknown number of months since sometime last year, my father has had a highly dubious plan to re-arrange the furniture in the living room of the house. While off this week from his work, my father spontaneously decided to start this project, and to do so is his right.

To which I have sentimental attachments, a rubbish pile is located beside my chair in the living room. Yesterday my rubbish pile was moved and some was thrown away. The actions taken towards my rubbish pile were the subjects of squabbling and heated discussion last night.

The argument ended when I promised for Wednesday that I would do something about that pile of rubbish and at least one other pile of rubbish in the “home office” of my father.

More piles of rubbish than anyone else in the house‼
Yes, a win for me‼

Happier times began once I found my Verizon rebate, which arrived about a month ago in the form of a debit card. Yesterday I spent exactly thirteen dollars of the fifty dollars in the rebate, some at Sonic® — America’s Drive-In® and some at Quiktrip. Sweet‼

Becoming more evident, this post is not about the plan to re-arrange the furniture in the living room, but my rather-sudden interjections of celebration. Besides my refreshing naïveté and my attempts at humor, my rather-sudden interjections of celebration are one of my more endearing qualities. That is the subject of this post, and also my discovery of the double exclamation mark. Sweet, double exclamation mark‼

Kitto how endearing a quality is dependent on the mood of those around me. For my sisters, my rather-sudden interjections of celebration are of more of an annoyance than an endearing quality. Perhaps I would be more correct to say that my rather-sudden interjections of celebration are an enduring quality. YES, shouting for my amusement‼

At the start of shows at the Roving Imp Theater, when he is seated near the front row, David will shout:

YEAH‼

That means the my time to go to a musical bridge:

♫ let me hear you say yeah, (yeah, yeah)
say yeah (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Somebody ask, everybody reply, raise your voices,
now, scream (Ho‼)
1 2 kick it ♫

I have a tendency to make rather-sudden interjections of celebration when I am right about some trivial fact:

April 29 at 12:32 a.m. Christopher Hurt

@David- THANK YOU, yes, I AM technically correct!
Reading text messages aloud is not technically a stage performance of improv, which was to what I was referring.

Another example was Saturday night at the Roving Imp Theater and Coffee House, during a discussion, nearly everyone made a guess:

What year, in the TV series of the same name, was Buck Rogers launched into deep space?

Okay, okay, okay, the question was neither formally phrased nor formally from the game Trivial Pursuit. My answer was 1987, which I remember from the opening credits:


Okay, they were something like that. After someone checked the Web using an iPhone, I said:

YES, 1987‼ I told you‼ I told you‼

Perhaps I should work on that habit, like your girlfriend.

¡Healthymagination!

¡Healthymagination! The databases at the hospitals are now coordinated! The clinics are now synced on 5 May! ¿How truly effective were those as a pun?

Since last April, MC Thumbtack is a person that I follow on Twitter. She has two blogs, in the fade and Sound System. She says the funniest damn things. Cinco de Mayo, about which I was trying to make a pun, is a subject of one of her recent blog posts and a tweet.

I have been making puns more successfully while at the Roving Imp Theater and Coffee House, but I have been attempting them less frequently and I have not been trying on stage. The reading of Sophie's World commenced immediately following my groaner of a pun on Monday.

I noticed windsocks were hanging from the light posts along Oak Street; one was shaped like a cow, udderly ridiculous.

I successfully made that pun on Friday, April 30. In rehearsal with Project Improv, someone once said, “Comedy is repetition.” Well, I have tried replying to many statuses with the following many times:

“The Whole Enchilada, please.”

And

¡Mas Cerveza, Por Favor!

Yes, I do sometimes try too hard to be funny; besides my refreshing naïveté, my attempts at humor are one of my more endearing qualities. After all, I am “delightfully odd”, but I might need to be part of a double act.

I quoted MC Thumbtack's tweet 4 hours ago, and about an hour ago David responded:

Or by squeezing that lime in the eye of that guy running after you!

4 hours ago

Christopher Hurt just played the only Coca-Cola vending machine at Johnson County Community College that accepts five-dollar bills. Look at all those quarters! I win every time!

About an hour ago David

Now you can get that car wash you've only been dreaming about!

4 hours ago

Christopher Hurt needs to enjoy some festive nachos today.
Has anyone any suggestions?

About an hour ago David

Yes...with cheese! =p

About a minute ago

Christopher Hurt has chosen LOADED NACHOS at Chili’s Grill & Bar:
Pulled smoked chicken or spicy 100% USDA Choice ground beef with melted cheese, green onions and cilantro sour cream.

About a minute ago David

Dude, if you're pulling a smoked chicken, you might want to wash your hands before you eat the nachos.

Ultimately my festive nachos were like nearly everything else in my life, a little disappointing:

Campus Craze Day was 10:00 a.m. – 2:00 p.m. on Wednesday, May 5, outside in the Commons Plaza and Fountain Square areas.

Students had access to information about JCCC student organizations and academic departments, interact with student services division and learner engagement personnel, and had the opportunity to visit with admissions representatives from more than 20 potential transfer colleges and universities.

Let’s not forget the pizza, world famous JCCC hot dogs, rock climbing wall, Roasterie Coffee, aqua massage beds and horticulture plant sale, just to have named a few.

Back by popular demand, Live Band Karaoke rocked on the COM Plaza stage. Were you brave enough and had the talent to perform live with a full band, American Idol style?

Stephene Moore, Third Congressional District Democratic candidate, was at JCCC on Wednesday, May 5, for Campus Craze day. Her visit was sponsored by the JCCC College Democrats. She spoke briefly at 12:15 p.m., on May 5 in the Corner Lounge.

A coworker arrived at noon, and I could have gone to Campus Craze. I did not feel like fighting the crowds, I did not feel all that hungry, and I did not want a sunburn.

Since passage of this “Health Care” Bill, I have personally vowed to never again vote for another Democratic candidate for any office, so I really do not care what Moore had to say. A statement for which no salves exist, like your girlfriend, I hope she is handily and summarily defeated.

“Maybe Attending”

Through Facebook, I have been invited to a few events, and most times I respond, “Maybe Attending”; I am non-committal, but “Maybe Attending” is a positive response, because Facebook certainly interprets that as a positive response; all these positive responses appear in “Events” in my sidebar.

Do I know exactly what I am doing every weekend? Generally, yes, improv at the Roving Imp Theater dominates my weekends, although most Sundays I also have rehearsal with Project Improv.

Apparently “‘Intergalactic’ STAR WARS Status Day” is today. I am non-committal, but I responded, “Maybe Attending”; while I do want to participate, I have only seen Episode I, II, III, and IV, but I really know no quotes from Star Wars.

5 hours ago my friend on Facebook, who invited me, posted:

“I ain’t in this for your revolution sweetheart; I expect to be well-paid.” May the Fourth be with you!

3 hours ago he continued:

off to the land of dreams... “Hokey religions and ancient weapons are no match for a good blaster by your side. There’s no all-powerful Force that guides my destiny. You ask me, it’s just a bunch of superstitious nonsense.”

8 hours ago David

<-- a="" about="" from="" his="" monkey="" my="" of="" penis="" point="" script="" something="" span="" style="font-style: italic;" this="" view="" with="" wrote="">Star Wars

day and quoting from one of the movies. This is what was said when the guys from Mystery Science Theater 3000 watched Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. That counts right? Let me know when I can get away with quoting a Star Trek movie. I know those by heart and don't have to look up a YouTube video just to get a quote.2 hours ago Christopher Hurt

I only said that I was “Maybe Attending”.

Memory Alpha has some good Star Trek quotes.

(slides back, under rock)

I posted on the event wall 14 minutes ago:

“Someone once said, ‘Don’t try to be a great man. Just be a man, and let history make its own judgment.’”
“That's rhetorical nonsense. Who said that?”
“You did, ten years from now.”

Yeah, that is a quote from Star Trek: First Contact. Specifically I searched for that quote, and found it first on Memory Alpha.

About a minute ago

Christopher Hurt also wonders,
“What the Hell is an ‘Aluminum Falcon’?!”

“Is it a fast ship?”
“Are you kidding, it’s the ship that made the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs.”
“Isn't a parsec is a unit of distance, not time?”

About an hour ago

David would like to go get Meat Loaf’s new album. But I don't have a car right now.

About a minute ago Christopher Hurt

“Tires. Tires.“

and I will quote The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift:

“Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Another set? No. Look, that was your third set today. I mean, them tires ain't cheap.”

I might post lyrics from “Oh! Susanna”, too, like your girlfriend.

Christopher Hurt has updated his blog about an hour ago !

About a minute ago Christopher Hurt

I'm still updating this post; this post will follow Porsche’s philosophy of “continuous improvement”.

About a minute ago Christopher Hurt

“Don't act hostile, I'll use the universal greeting.”
“‘Universal greeting’?”
“Watch, I'll have them eating out of my hands. Baa weep grahna weep ninny bong.”
“‘Baa weep grahna weep ninny bong’?”
“Baa weep grahna weep ninny bong.”
“See, the universal greeting works every time.”

MBH - my brain hurts 002

I was going to give this post a more unique title, but I have several more serial blog posts than I realize, of which “MBH - my brain hurts” is only one, so I just might as well again use, “MBH - my brain hurts.” Only awake since 12:15 p.m., I did have a moment today in which MBH. I just might as well call this, “MBH - my brain hurts: ‘Fun with Acronyms’ edition.”

Saturday afternoon is a great time for televised coverage of sports. Growing up, after cartoons on Saturday mornings, I would watch Hometime and Motorweek on PBS, or the Professional Bowlers Association (PBA) on ABC.

Like today, CBS is broadcasting golf, in this case the LPGA. The selection of “Sugar We're Goin’ Down” to introduce the coverage today made MBH. I like the song fine, but why did they choose it? MBH - my brain hurts!

My father and I are helping a friend of mine move today. IZOD IndyCar Series and NASCAR Camping World Truck Series are in town at the Kansas Speedway. When I leave home today depends on the timing of the overseer, like your girlfriend.